25 02 2008

Heather told me in Starbucks today, “I just realized that I have been starving, and this weekend was a binge. I even said it accidentally today, without realizing. I wonder what will happen tomorrow. I am obsessed with food, obsessed with its taste and texture bursting colors flavors rolling on and singeing my tongue. I am obsessed with the calories, with the time to fat ratios and counters, with numbers. I don’t weigh myself regularly. I look at my body regularly. I look I look I cringe and binge. I feel full right now. I feel full I feel like there is a weight in my belly. A large stone, a lead filled sponge expanding, pushing into every nook and cranny filling my intestines burst burst fill squeeze slide and chafe. The sponge creeps up my esophagus but the food does not. The food sits heavy in my belly.”
I didn’t say anything back. The person in front of us paid for their Java Chip Frappuccino and Reducedā€Fat Banana Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake and we were asked if we could be helped, please? Heather and I looked at each other and she quietly sidestepped behind me.




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